


The Chimera and the Cultivar

by TVTime



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Abducted!Theo, Absurd, Apple Pie, Apple Seeds, Apple candy, Apples, Botanical Nightmare, Botany, Boys Kissing, Chimeras, Comedy, Dancing, Evil Plans, First Kiss, Friendship, Good Theo Raeken, Granny Smith - Freeform, Homeless Theo Raeken, Humor, Kidnapping, M/M, Music, Outrageous, Protective Liam, Puppy Liam, Reformed Theo Raeken, Sharing a Bed, Sinister Old Ladies, Texting, Theo Has Feelings, Theo's POV, Thiam, Thiam Week, Thiam Week 2018, ThiamHalfBirthday, Weird, stranger danger, video games - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-05-26 16:45:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15005099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TVTime/pseuds/TVTime
Summary: Theo wants to spend the night at Liam’s house, but his pride prevents him from admitting he’s homeless and asking. His luck seems to turn around later that night when an old woman finds him sleeping in a parking lot and invites him home for a slice of apple pie and a proper bed. The offer is too appealing to pass up, but can Liam save Theo from the apple-themed ordeal that follows?Theo’s breathing slowed as he shifted on the hard truck seat and snuggled further under the blanket. He was pretty sure Liam was developing a crush on him – lots of people had over the years – but for once he thought he might feel the same way. It was...wow.Maybe they would kiss. Maybe they would sit too close and touch each other the way Mason and Corey did. Maybe Theo could have that type of life. Maybe it would be great.He dozed off thinking about the way Liam had touched his shoulder and the nervous little sparkle in his eyes.





	1. You Are the Apple of My Eye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was written for the ‘Stranger Danger’ day of the ThiamHalfBirthday event.

Theo snarled as he got trapped between Corey and Mason, and they attacked him from opposite sides. Mason threw pills at him, and Corey slashed him from behind with his sword. Theo tried to escape, but Mason leaped into the air and kicked him back to the ground. Corey was waiting to impale him on a savage up-thrust. 

“No fair teaming up!” Theo shouted.

Fortunately, the duck on Liam’s back flapped him up to the platform they were on, and he made a gunman appear behind Mason. Seeing his chance, Theo launched his aura sphere at Corey, who jumped out of the way, but in so doing gave Theo an opening to get past him. The pair was now pinned between Theo and Liam and caught in the crossfire. After a few seconds of battering them back and forth, Theo launched his stun attack on Mason, and Liam kicked Corey off screen.

Corey huffed and threw down his controller as time ran out and the match ended. Liam came in first, but Theo managed to edge out Corey for second place. 

“You complain about us teaming up, and then you and Liam pull that!” Mason glared up at Theo from his position on the floor next to Corey. The couple had created a makeshift bed for themselves out of pillows and blankets between the couch and the pushed-back coffee table in the living room of the Geyer home.

“We weren’t teaming up,” Liam answered, nudging Theo with his elbow. They had started on opposite ends of the couch, but had somehow ended up shoulder-to-shoulder by last match. 

“Yeah,” Theo said with a nod at Liam, “we were trying to kill each other. You two just kept getting in the way.”

Theo might not have won, but Liam actually did feel like his teammate, so he wasn’t too disappointed that he had finished ahead of him. Besides, it was Mason and Corey’s fault. If they weren’t always double teaming him or Liam, they wouldn’t have to resort to working together.

“I want my victory Jolly Rancher!” Liam declared, holding out his hand.

Corey grumbled but grabbed the bag of candy off the table and passed it to Mason. “You only won because of your character.”

“Uh! _You_ insisted on being Link,” Liam countered. “I wanted to be him to begin with.”

“It’s not Link’s fault Duck Hunt is OP,” Corey answered, folding his arms. “The game mechanics are broken.”

Mason laughed and squeezed Corey’s knee as he held out the Jolly Rancher bag to Liam.

Liam’s eyes glinted with excitement as he reached inside and rummaged around, but his face fell as he pulled out a green candy. “Ugh, it’s apple!”

“I like apple,” Theo said, eying the treat clutched between Liam’s fingers.

“Okay, here.” Liam shrugged and tossed it to him. He snatched it out of the air. “I guess you deserve it for coming in second.”

Theo sucked on his prize as they played the next match, which he won with Corey placing second. Theo pulled a grape Jolly Rancher as his reward and gave it to Liam when he said it was his favorite. It was strictly because he had owed Liam for the apple candy, and had nothing to do with the puppy eyes Liam turned on him. 

“I’m not playing anymore,” Corey snapped when Mason won the third round with him once again placing second. 

Mason kissed Corey’s cheek and slid behind him on the floor. He wrapped his arms around Corey’s chest and spread his legs around him. “Relax baby, it’s just a game,” he whispered as he leaned back against the couch between Theo’s and Liam’s legs and held Corey against his chest. “I love you.”

Happiness bloomed in Corey’s scent, and he turned his head sideways to kiss Mason.

Theo rolled his eyes at Liam, but found him with a soft smile on his face as he stared down at his friends with obvious affection.

“It’s getting pretty late,” Mason said as the kiss ended.

Theo frowned. Mason didn’t smell tired; he smelled horny.

“I wanna try aga–” Corey squeaked as Mason’s hand slid under the blanket covering his lap. “Yeah, very late. _Sooo_ late. We better call it a night.”

Liam laughed and stood to stretch.

Theo fumed and glared at the couple. He had been having a good time and they ruined it. Now he was going to have to get in his truck and try to find somewhere to park for the night where he wouldn’t be chased off by cops or attacked by strangers. 

It was just under a week since the Anuk-Ite had been defeated, and while the town was gradually returning to normal, there were still plenty of radicalized citizens and angry amateur hunters prowling the streets. The night before, Theo had awoken to his truck being shaken as a small mob tried to flip it. He had been able to drive away before any damage occurred, but he wasn’t sure his luck would hold. 

He'd had exactly one good night’s sleep in the months since being resurrected from hell, and that had been in Liam’s guest room five nights ago after the showdown with the hunters at the hospital. He had driven Liam home, and Liam had invited him in for a snack and some video games. By the time they were finished it was late, and Liam had offered him the guest room. 

Since then, Theo and Liam had hung out three more times, including tonight’s gaming session with Mason and Corey. It was weird. Theo had assumed Liam wouldn’t want anything to do with him once the danger had passed, but instead he seemed determined to treat Theo like a friend. Mason and Corey were mostly being nice to Theo too. Weirdest of all, Theo was being nice back. He wasn’t sure why. He didn’t have much of an agenda other than getting to spend a few hours out of his truck, and a glimmer of hope that if he behaved, Liam might invite him to spend the night again.

“You wanna take the guest room?”

Theo all but gasped. He didn’t think it would actually happen. The other two nights Liam had sent him on his way without even raising the possibility that Theo could stay.

“Su–”

“Yes, please.” Mason grinned at Liam and tugged Corey to his feet. “I don’t think I could sneak Corey past my parents.”

“Uh, does the invisibility thing not help?” Liam asked with a laugh. 

“Less than you’d think,” Corey muttered.

“Now that they know, they made him promise not to use it to go behind their backs.” Mason leaned against Corey’s shoulder. “They’re cool with him being a chimera though, which is all I could have asked for.”

Corey nodded, a tinge of color darkening his cheeks. “I like them. I just wish they weren’t...”

“Old fashioned about things happening under their roof,” Mason finished.

Liam shrugged. “Well, my parents aren’t old fashioned about that, but we’ll all be in trouble if you wake them up.”

Corey’s blush deepened. “We’re not _that_ loud.”

The couple gathered their pillows and blankets and left the room.

“Theo?”

“Yeah?” Theo turned to Liam hopefully. The couch was still available. 

“Don’t forget your jacket.” He nodded with his chin toward the arm of the easy chair in the corner where Theo had draped it.

“Right. Thanks.”

Liam tipped his head to the side. “Was there something else?”

“No, I’ll be going.” Theo grabbed his jacket and strode to the front door, Liam trailing behind him.

“I, uh, had a fun time tonight,” Liam said softly, his hand hovering near but not on Theo’s shoulder as he opened the door.

“Yeah, it was fun,” Theo answered, reminding himself that they were doing the nice thing.

“So, it’s Saturday tomorrow.”

Theo furrowed his brow. That was a mundane observation. Was this what friendly small talk was like? 

“The weather app on my phone says it’s gonna be cloudy with a high of 73.” Theo nodded. He had no idea what he was doing.

Liam did a double take. “Cool...Anyway, since we don’t have school, we’re probably gonna go grab some lunch. I’ll text you if you want?”

_Oh._

“Sure, sounds good.”

“So...bye.” Liam finally moved his hand the last couple inches and patted Theo’s shoulder.

Theo smiled at him, struggling to keep the smirk off his face. Liam had no idea what he was doing either, and it was damn funny. “Night.”

Theo sighed as he climbed into his truck. He had just enough money to rent a motel room for the night, or he could keep gas in the tank for another week, maybe more if he tried not to drive around. It was no contest. Actually ordering something tomorrow at lunch wasn’t an option, but he could say he wasn’t hungry and then pick food off his... _friends’?_ plates. If things went well they might hang out for the rest of the afternoon, and he could eat snacks and leftovers at Liam’s or Mason’s houses. He’d never been to Corey’s house, but he doubted the other chimera’s parents would have been okay with him bumming food – as he understood it, they only grudgingly kept food in the house for Corey – but there was always plenty to eat at Liam’s and the same had been true the one time he had been to Mason’s. Theo just needed to get through the next twelve hours and get an invitation to keep hanging out.

He drove to the only twenty-four hour grocery store in Beacon Hills and parked near the front. He had learned the hard way not to park in the rear lot or near the edge of the property. His truck stood out more by itself, increasing the likelihood that a cop or security guard would harass him. Parked near the front entrance, he would look like any other late-night shopper. 

He killed the ignition and retrieved his duffel bag from the floorspace in front of the passenger seat. He pulled out his well-worn blanket and eyed his supply of clean clothes. He had enough for another two days. Then it would be time to do laundry. He had been using a public laundromat on the other side of town, but if tomorrow went well perhaps he would risk saying his machine was broken and ask to wash his clothes at Liam’s house. He needed to save the money if he could. 

He spread out his blanket and reclined his seat, slumping as low as he could to make the vehicle appear unoccupied. He closed his eyes and relived his evening as he waited to fall asleep. His time in hell with his sister had changed him. He had come back with feelings he had never felt before, a capacity to care. 

It sucked. 

It wasn’t all bad though. Liam, Mason, and Corey were the first people he had ever befriended just because he cared about them and wanted to be around them. In retrospect, Theo knew that even as a child _before_ the Dread Doctors he had been hollow. Scott and Stiles had been his ‘friends,’ but only because they were in the same grade and had the same childhood interests. He had liked them well enough in a neutral kind of way, but he hadn’t cared about them, certainly not the way they cared about each other, or even about him. He couldn’t.

He hadn’t cared about anyone until Liam had brought him back. Caring about Liam was awful and confusing and painful, and the gradual realization that Mason and Corey were also starting to matter was almost as bad...But it was cool too. Tonight had been real in a way Theo had never experienced before. It might even have been the best night of his life so far, but considering that his capacity to feel was less than a year old that left quite a few possibilities open for even better nights. Especially since...

Theo’s breathing slowed as he shifted on the hard seat and snuggled further under the blanket. He was pretty sure Liam was developing a crush on him – lots of people had over the years – but for once he thought he might feel the same way. It was...wow.

Maybe they would kiss. Maybe they would sit too close and touch each other the way Mason and Corey did. Maybe Theo could have that type of life. Maybe it would be great.

He dozed off thinking about the way Liam had touched his shoulder and the nervous little sparkle in his eyes.

* * *

“Deary.”

Theo gasped awake as someone rapped at his window.

“Deary.”

He opened his eyes and sat up. It was a little old lady, stooped and withered, barely tall enough to look into his truck. She had curly gray hair and tortoise-rim glasses. She obviously wasn’t law enforcement or a hunter, so he turned on the truck and rolled down the window.

“Yes, ma’am?” he asked with a polite smile. Liam would have been so proud of him for not blowing her off. Maybe he could work this into their next conversation. He deserved major brownie points for behaving at this hour of the night with a total stranger.

“Are you sleeping in your truck?” She smelled like fresh apples.

“Well I _was._ ” Theo took a steadying breath. “–Ma’am.”

She smiled at him, new lines creasing her face and displacing the snarl of wrinkles around her mouth. Her loose jowls fluttered as she bobbed her head. “You poor dear. You’re homeless aren’t you?”

Theo scowled at her but inclined his head. There was no point lying to this stranger. 

“Then why don’t you come home with me?” She tittered and curled her gnarled, arthritic fingers around the lip of the window. “I have bountiful space. I live on a large estate just outside of town.”

A chill ran down Theo’s spine. She was the embodiment of a harmless old woman, yet his instincts told him not to trust her. 

“I’m comfortable here.” He frowned at her hand, his finger poised over the button to roll the window back up. “Excuse me.”

She rose onto shaky toes and reached in to squeeze his forearm. “I have a hunch you like apple pie, don’t you dear?”

Theo opened his mouth to tell her to get lost, but his stomach rumbled. Apple pie was his all-time favorite dessert. “Well...yes.”

“I knew it!” She patted his arm and withdrew her hand from the vehicle. “I took one look at you, and I said to myself, ‘Granny Smith, that boy has good taste in pie.’”

Theo laughed. “Granny Smith?”

“Yes, dear?”

“Like the apples?”

Her glassy eyes brightened. “You’ve heard of me!”

“You’re _that_ Granny Smith?” 

“Yes, dear.” She smiled at him, her scent filling with pride.

Theo chuckled. She was a crazy old loon, but he did want a warm bed and a piece of her pie. He just needed to be sure everything was on the level. 

“Do you live alone, Granny Smith?” Theo had been on the other end of playing harmless to round up victims. Did she have her own ‘Dread Doctors’ waiting to snatch him up as soon as he walked through the door?

“Just me and my apple orchard, deary.” She wasn’t lying.

“Well...okay, thanks. That sounds nice.” He glanced at the candy apple red Oldsmobile parked in the next row of spaces. “Is that your car?”

She smiled and tapped the side of his truck. “You’re such a clever boy, Theo.”

Theo’s blood ran cold. “How did you know my name?”

“What do you mean, dear?” Her thin gray eyebrows drew together. “You didn’t let me finish. I was just saying the Oldsmobile over there is mine.”

 _Theo. The O-ldsmobile._ Theo frowned. Had he cut her off? He didn’t think he had, but there was no other explanation.

“Alright, I’ll follow you.”

She stood on her toes again and leaned in. “Will you drive me, deary? I have night blindness. I’ll take you back in the morning.”

“Okay.” Theo rolled up his window and grabbed his phone from the cup holder. Once she had wobbled back enough, he opened the door. “Is it far?”

“Just a few miles outside of town.” She latched onto his arm for support as they trudged to her car. 

If Theo left out the part about his being homeless, this would make an interesting story to tell Liam and the others tomorrow. He hoped he would get a chance to see her apple orchard in the morning before he left. 

“So Granny Smith, what brings you out so late?”

“Why, I was looking for you, dear.” She smiled and patted his hand.

Theo laughed awkwardly and opened the passenger side door of the Oldsmobile for her. Weird old woman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is greatly appreciated!


	2. As American as Apple Pie

“–and now there are over seven thousand apple cultivars in the world.” Granny Smith’s raspy voice trilled with excitement as she finished her abbreviated history of worldwide apple cultivation.

“Fascinating,” Theo mumbled, slowing the car to go around a narrow bend in the forest road. 

“Of course the Red Delicious people are a bunch of shysters.” Granny Smith clenched her hands in her lap. “The gall of calling your hybrid _delicious_ in its official name. Naturally consumers are going to want the _delicious_ apple, even if the Granny Smiths taste better.”

“Right, absolutely.” Theo groaned under his breath. 

“What’s your favorite apple, dear?”

“I’d say the Gala–”

She cut him a sharp glare.

“–uh, I’d say the Gala can’t hold a candle to the Granny Smiths.”

“Exactly, dear. Galas are too mealy and bland.” She tapped the dashboard and pointed a crooked finger as they took another curve and emerged in a wide clearing. “There’s my home.”

At the rear of the clearing a large Victorian-style home with a cobblestone driveway sat on a neatly manicured lawn surrounded by a white picket fence. The wooden gate was open. Theo pulled through it and toward the garage, but glanced at the elderly woman from the corner of his eye. Her home felt out of place in the Beacon Hills forest, and it was strange that he had never heard about it nor stumbled across it on his own.

“Have you lived here long, Granny Smith?”

“Oh about sixty years, deary. I mostly keep to myself.” She smiled as she pointed at a click button clipped on the sun visor over his head. “That’s for the garage.”

Theo nodded and pushed the button as he came to a stop in front of the garage door. It rumbled up slowly, revealing a space barely big enough for the car. It looked like she was running a cannery and bottling company out of her garage. Workstations, pallets, barrels, and crates were set up around the perimeter of the walls with jars and bottles lining almost every surface.

Granny smith chuckled as Theo eased the car into place. “I’m something of a packrat.” 

Theo frowned as he opened the car door and bumped a barrel of apples. “You must have a very large orchard, Granny Smith.”

“Oh I do!” She grinned at him before turning to open the passenger side door. “It’s my pride and joy.” 

He helped her out of the car and followed her into the house through a hallway lined with paintings of apple-themed art and into a kitchen where an apple pie sat on a table with a white tablecloth. Granny Smith put the pie in the oven to warm as Theo took a seat at the table. 

“Would you like apple juice, apple brandy, apple cider, or apple cider wine with you pie, deary?”

“Do you have any milk?”

Granny smith frowned but pulled a glass milk bottle from the old-timey refrigerator and poured him a glass. 

Theo took a cautious sip. His instincts told him something wasn’t right with this old woman. He needed to learn more about her.

“So Granny Smith, do you have a husband or any kids?” 

“No.” She hobbled across the kitchen to an armoire that doubled as a liquor cabinet. “I had a lady companion for many years, but she died recently.”

“A lady companion?”

She cleared her throat and grabbed an unlabeled bottle of golden fluid. It smelled of apples and liquor once she removed the cork – the apple brandy, Theo assumed. 

“Ours was the love that dare not speak its name,” she answered, filling a wide-rim glass snifter.

“Is that so?” Theo smirked at her. “People speak it nowadays. It’s just called being a lesbian.” 

Granny Smith flinched and took a long sip of her drink.

“Anyway” –Theo shrugged, his stomach fluttering with excitement as he decided to give voice to his feelings about Liam for the first time– “I have a guy friend I’m into. So you’re in good company, Granny Smith.”

She closed the liquor cabinet and tottered back to the oven. “Well then I certainly hope you told him goodbye, deary.”

“ _What?!_ ” Theo flicked his claws out under the table, tensing for an attack.

Granny Smith smiled and leaned against the counter by the stove. “You never know when it’ll be the last time you see each other. My Elisabeth was taken suddenly at work.”

Theo relaxed, but only a little. “Oh? And what kind of work did she do?”

“She was a scientist. Quite the trailblazer.”

Theo narrowed his eyes. “What field?”

Granny Smith opened her mouth but hesitated. The timer on the oven rang. 

“There now.” She smiled and grabbed a pair of red oven mitts from a hook on the wall. “The pie should be nice and pipping hot!”

Theo’s stomach rumbled as she set the pie dish on a trivet on the table in front of him. It was perhaps the most delicious pie he had ever smelled. He could hardly contain himself as he waited for her to shuffle to a drawer and retrieve a pie server and a fork and knife.

“Mmm, thanks Granny Smith!” Theo beamed at her as she cut him a piece so large it amounted to a quarter of the pie. 

“It’s my pleasure, deary.” She patted his shoulder. “Go on and eat it now while it’s hot.”

Theo licked his lips and brought a steaming forkful to his mouth. He blew on it a few times and bit into it.

“Oh my god!” His eyes closed and he let out a little moan. “This is so good! Mmm! Ooh, is that almond I taste? There’s a nutty flavor.”

“You have such a discerning palate, Theo.” She took a sip of her apple brandy and nodded. “It’s not almond, but a-a special extract I blended myself. You’re quite right though, dear, it does have a savory, nutty flavor profile.”

“Yeah, it balances the sweetness perfectly!” Theo took another big bite, rolling the hot lumps of apple around in his mouth to keep from burning himself.

“I’d be delighted to show you my orchard when you’ve finished your pie.”

Theo swallowed and gave her a sidelong look. “Shouldn’t we wait until morning?”

“No need.” She smiled. “I have flood lights. It keeps the trees from being afraid of the dark.”

“There’s nothing worse than a frightened apple tree,” Theo said with a smirk.

“Nothing indeed, dear.” She rolled the brandy around in her glass. “Too much fear affects hormone levels. Elisabeth taught me that.”

“And what kind of scientist did you say she was?”

“Her professional work was well beyond the scope of my comprehension.” Granny Smith tsked and shook her head. “But she helped me develop some very exciting apple cultivars in her final days. I’m still perfecting one of them. I’ll show it to you.”

“Okay, but maybe in the morning?” Theo yawned and took another big bite of pie. Now that he was filling up, he was becoming drowsy. 

“Come now, Theo.” Granny Smith drained the rest of her drink. “A strapping young man like you – I’m sure you can indulge an old woman for a time longer.”

Theo grumbled and scraped the last of the pie onto his fork. Fatigue had set in hard and fast, and he wasn’t entirely sure he could muster the energy to walk around an orchard, but he was her guest and it would be rude to refuse. He climbed to his feet, alarmed when the room spun around him.

“Here, dear, take my arm and help me, won’t you?” She looped her arm with his and dragged him away from the table. 

He stumbled after her, surprised by her strength. Contrary to what she had said, it felt more like she was supporting him as they trudged out of the kitchen and further down the hallway toward a back door. 

“I-I really think I should lie down.” He was dizzy and his heart pounded in his chest. “I don’t feel right.”

“Well then you’d better get some fresh air,” she answered, opening the door and ushering him out.

She was right. The cool air on his face was refreshing. He took long, deep breaths and stared up at the trees as they crossed her lawn. 

“First let me show you that special cultivar Elisabeth was helping me with.” She steered him toward a little sapling tied to a wooden stake and surrounded by heat lamps.

“Not doing so well,” Theo mumbled, loosening his collar. He could hardly breathe.

“No, unfortunately it isn’t.” Granny Smith patted a wispy branch affectionately. “I call it the Dread Apple. Elisabeth assured me this cultivar would combine the very best in taste, yield, and growing speed. The trouble is it’s not very hardy because its genetic material is still missing a crucial final component that she was going to harvest for me.”

“Dr-dread apple? Genetic material?” Theo sank to his knees, his vision blurring. 

“Yes dear, I think you might have known Elisabeth under her professional name: The Geneticist. She engineered your genetic material too. Anyway, since she’s passed, I’ll just have to harvest what I need myself.”

Theo growled and his eyes blazed with golden heat. He was going to– 

He slumped forward, banging his head on the Dread Apple’s stake.

“Now where did I put that wheelbarrow?”

Theo fumbled for the phone in his jacket pocket as his vision went black and the vibrations of her footsteps walking away thundered through his head. He had to call Liam. He had to–

He had to breathe, but his lungs wouldn’t work and–

_Terror._

Terror skittered up and down his spine, yet he was strangely relaxed. 

And so tired...

And his pocket was so far away...

Who was he trying to call again?

Wait, was he in a bed?

No-no too hard. His truck seat then. 

Yeah, that had to be it. Theo didn’t have a bed anymore.

But he was so sleepy. 

Just a nap...

A nap...then he’d call...

Someone about...

Something...

Just a nap...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a bit longer than I anticipated. Things have been hectic the last week. There’s still one more part...LOL, or is this a good stopping place? :P
> 
> Anyway, feedback is greatly appreciated!


	3. The Sweeter the Apple, the Blacker the Core

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so much fun to write! I hope you enjoy it.

“My word, Granny Smith, your pie smells absolutely scrumptious!” Liam said in a posh English accent as he sat at the head of an oak dining table.

“A’right lady, where do ya want me n’ the mister?” Corey asked as he approached the table. His cheeks were smudged with black soot, and he held a chimney sweep broom in one hand. His other hand was clasped with Mason’s.

“Ai do not wan any pie,” Mason said in a French accent as he puffed on the end of a long-handled cigarette holder. A striped beret with a little replica of the Eiffel Tower on top rested on his head. 

“I say, Mason, you simply must have some pie.” Liam blew on his monocle and wiped it on the breast of his tweed jacket. “Granny Smith has presented us with such a lovely spread.”

“It’s my pleasure, dears.” Granny Smith stepped past Corey and set a steaming apple pie on the table. The crust was golden brown and flaky with the top vented to reveal little slivers of its gooey, chunky center. “The most time-consuming part was murdering your friend.”

“I hope you didn’t go to any trouble,” Liam said as he draped a napkin over his lap.

Mason setup an easel beside the table and mixed paint colors on his palette. 

“Don’t be silly, deary. I was going to kill him anyway. Might as well bake him into a pie too!” She wiped her bloodied hands on her white apron before lifting the lid of an insulated metal canister that sat beside the pie. “And the vanilla ice cream is home-churned.”

“Theo a’la mode! Ai approve!” Mason licked his lips, the cigarette holder dangling precariously.

“Oy, is that one’a ‘is fingers stickin’ out.” Corey pointed with the handle of his broom.

Theo wiggled it.

“Oh my heavens! Perhaps I didn’t bake him long enough.” Granny Smith clutched her chest in dismay.

Theo snarled and his arm shot up through the pie, sending its innards flying.

Liam arched his brow and flicked a chunk of apple off his collar. “Leave it to Theo to ruin the presentation.”

* * *

Theo gasped and raised his head. 

“Ugh.” He coughed and looked around. He was standing upright in Granny Smith’s backyard, strapped to a green picnic table that had been turned on its end. A cold sweat coated his skin, and his stomach twisted and heaved with violent pangs. He desperately wanted to throw up to ease the nausea and purge whatever drug Granny Smith had given him, but his muscles were too weak and even coughing was difficult. He didn’t have the strength to gag. 

He tugged and pushed at his restraints. He was bound in simple garden twine, but it might as well have been steel cables for all it yielded. He groaned. His claws weren’t working. After several seconds he managed to get one little point to break from the cuticle of his right index finger, but he couldn’t twist it enough to make contact with the twine.

“Don’t struggle, deary.” Granny Smith’s shadow fell across his face as she stepped in front of one of the flood lights and rolled a wheelbarrow to him. The metal rim banged his shins as she stopped. “If you weren’t a chimera the cyanide would have already killed you.”

“Cyanide?!”

“Yes dear.” She smiled and leaned on the handle of the wheelbarrow. “Didn't you know that apple seeds contain trace amounts of cyanide? The hard outer shell typically protects people who swallow them, but I extracted the poison and blended it with a few other chemicals and spices to create a substance capable of immobilizing even the most hardy supernatural beast. Best of all, it tastes great in a pie!”

Theo growled but soon ran out of breath and had to stop.

“Try not to die until after I’ve cut out your liver, dear.” She patted his arm and smiled at him.

“What?!”

“For the Dread Apple. Your liver is the final piece it needs to realize its full, glorious potential! Oh how I wish my Elisabeth were alive to taste the literal fruits of her labor.” Granny Smith sniffled and dabbed the corner of her wrinkled eye. “Please, pardon my emotional display. I miss her dearly.”

“That’s not what you should apologize for!” Theo pressed his foot against the surface of the picnic table and tried to use it for leverage to tear himself free, but his muscles wouldn’t cooperate and he slumped against his bonds. 

Granny Smith tittered and rubbed Theo’s abdomen through his shirt. “Your liver is truly wondrous.”

“I get that a lot.”

“As Elisabeth explained it to me, it produces an enzyme that prevents your system from rejecting the modifications she and her colleagues made to your body. That same enzyme will soothe the internal war my little Dread Apple is having with its own genetics.”

Theo had to think. He had to find an angle that would make her stop. 

“I was the Dread Doctors’ greatest achievement.” He looked into her eyes and gave a solemn nod. “This isn’t what Elisabeth would have wanted for me.”

“You’re right, deary.” Granny Smith sighed and shook her head. “Elisabeth planned to harvest Corey’s liver.”

An unfamiliar wave of protective instincts crashed over Theo and he snarled. “Stay away from him.”

“Don’t worry, I only need one chimera liver.” She dipped her gnarled fingers under the hem of his t-shirt and raked ragged nails up his stomach. “It would have been his, but he’s always accompanied by Sebastian Valet’s failed host.”

“Mason.” Theo shivered and flinched away from her cold hand as she lifted his shirt until it caught on the band of twine looped over his chest.

“That’s right, Mason.” Granny Smith cackled with laughter and tucked Theo’s t-shirt into the restraints, exposing his entire abdomen. “I caught up to Corey last Saturday at the discotheque where he likes to dance–”

“ _You_ went to Sinema?” 

She nodded. “I wore a miniskirt to avoid being conspicuous.”

“How’d that work out for you?”

“Not particularly well, dear.” She dug a sharp fingernail into Theo’s skin just beneath his sternum. “I offered Corey one of my special candied apples, but that pesky boyfriend of his insisted he not take candy from a stranger. Fortunately for me and my beloved Dread Apple, you were much less discriminating.”

Theo growled and tried to flash his eyes at her, but they barely flickered.

“I’ll be right back.” She tittered and carved a shallow scratch along his rib line on the right side. “I need to find something sharper than these old fingers to harvest your liver.”

As she hobbled back into the house, Theo took deep breaths and reminded himself that he had been in situations like this before. The key was to stay calm and think. There had to be a way out of this. There had to– 

His eyes landed on his jacket a few feet away draped over one of the picnic benches. The top of his phone peeked from its pocket.

“Call Liam,” Theo said in a loud, clear voice, beyond relieved that he had enabled voice commands.

The device lit up through the lining of Theo’s jacket. “Calling Llama.”

“What? No! Cancel! Stop!” Theo cleared his throat and tried again. “Call Liam.”

“Calling Llama.”

“No! Fuck Llama. I don’t even like Llama.” Theo rumbled in irritation just thinking about the Dread Doctors’ former South American contact. “You know what, delete Llama’s number!”

“Do you want me to delete” –the mechanical voice paused– “Liam’s number?” 

“NO!” Theo coughed and sputtered as he ran out of breath. “Call _Lee-um._ ”

“Calling Liam.”

Theo breathed a sigh of relief and leaned his head back as the call connected.

“Hello?” Liam’s voice was rough with sleep. “Theo, what is it?”

“Liam, listen to me. I’ve been abducted by Granny Smith. You know, the lady from the apples.”

“Wha?”

“She tricked me into eating a pie laced with cyanide and now I’m strapped to a picnic table. She’s going to harvest my liver and use the enzymes to grow a genetically modified apple cultivar.”

“Theo, you’re not funny.” Liam groaned into the phone. “It’s the middle of the night. This is a lame prank.”

“I’m serious! She’s a lesbian who used to date one of the Dread Doctors. Ask Corey if you don’t believe me. She wore a miniskirt to Sinema last weekend and tried to give him a candied apple.”

“I’m hanging up now.”

“NO!”

The line went dead.

“Who are you talking to, dear?” Granny Smith shuffled back into view carrying a garden trowel.

“The voices in my head,” Theo answered, tensing as light glinted off the trowel’s polished metal edge.

“They’re very comforting aren’t they?” She smiled kindly. “Mine remind me to take my blood pressure medication and turn off the stove.”

“Look Granny Smith, you seem like a nice enough old lunatic. Don’t you think hacking my liver out with a garden trowel while I’m still alive would be kind of a shitty thing to do?” Theo shivered as a cold breeze swept across his bare abdomen. 

“Oh, but you must be alive when I do it.” Granny Smith tsked and shook her head. “Elisabeth was very clear that organ death begins mere minutes after blood flow ceases.”

“That is true,” Theo conceded with a nod. He couldn't argue with science.

“Ergo, if I want all those juicy little chimera enzymes intact, I need you alive until the moment I harvest it. Then I’ll have to hurry and rub it all over my Dready’s roots.”

“And you’ve already tried Miracle-Gro?”

“Afraid so.” She raised the trowel in one hand and clutched Theo's side in the other to steady herself. “Don't feel self-conscious about the mess you’re going to make, dear. That's what the wheelbarrow is for. Just let it all hang out.”

“Wait!” Theo's blood ran cold, and his heart leaped into his throat. “Before you disembowel me...”

“Yes, dear?” She gave him an expectant look.

“Uh...what kind of music do you like?”

“Pardon?” 

“You said you went to Sinema, so you must like clubbing and music.” Theo’s mind whirled with what to say next. “I’d just hate to be brutally murdered by someone without knowing their taste in music.”

“Oh.” Granny Smith grinned and idly twirled the tip of the trowel against Theo’s navel. “I quite like hip hop.”

“See, I never would have guessed that!” He smiled at her. He had to keep her talking. “What’s your favorite song?”

A mischievous look spread across Granny Smith’s face. “Would you like to see me perform it? I have a costume and everything! I used to dance for Elisabeth sometimes.”

“I would love to see that.” Theo infused as much sincerity as he could into his tone. 

“Hmm.” Granny Smith glanced at her trowel, then at Theo’s stomach as she tapped the side of her face with a crooked finger. “The night is young, and the cyanide is potent. I suppose I have time to show you my song before I gut you like a fish.”

“Absolutely!” 

“Ohh wee!” Granny Smith dropped the trowel in the wheelbarrow and clapped her hands. “This is going to be such fun! This may surprise you, but being a two-hundred-year-old widow with a narrow range of interests can get lonely sometimes.”

“You’re two hundred?” Theo gaped at her. 

“Well...” Granny Smith blushed. “Just a scoach older, but I think I can pull off two hundred, don’t you?” 

“Granny Smith, you don’t look a day over a hundred and fifty.”

“Oh you charmer!” She patted his cheek. “Just give me a few minutes to change and find my boombox.”

“Take all the time you need.”

As soon as she had left the yard Theo voice texted Liam, Corey, and Mason. He sent them his GPS location with a message attached.

Theo: _911! Emergency! Life or death! Mayday! Mayday! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!_

To avoid any ambiguity in the first message, he sent them a follow up text a moment later.

Theo: _You guys, this is super important._

Now all he could do was try to buy enough time for them to get here or for his body to clear the cyanide so that he could escape. He was trying fruitlessly to extend his claws when the floodlights surrounding him flickered rhythmically and shifted into strobing colored disco lights. Theo gaped as he caught sight of Granny Smith on the opposite end of the lawn. She was dressed in jeans, Ugg boots, and a midriff baring crop top. Speakers crackled and music blared to life. 

_Hmm-mmm-mmm_  
_Let me talk to 'em,_  
_Let me talk to 'em,_  
_Let it rain!_

After a few more bars, Theo recognized the song as _Low_ by Flo Rida.

Granny Smith hobbled forward, bopping her head and swaying her hips, which creaked with every move.

_Shawty had them Apple Bottom jeans_  
_Boots with the fur (with the fur)_  
_The whole club was lookin' at her_

Theo blinked as she danced closer. Was this real life?

_She hit the flo' (she hit the flo'!), next thang you know_  
_Shawty got low-low-low-low-low-low-low-low_

Granny Smith turned her back to Theo and hunched over, displaying the apple-shaped pockets with red stitching that covered her rear. She bounced her ass as she dropped lower and lower to the ground.

She fell over and missed performing the next few lines, but managed to right herself as the song continued.

_Had a million dollar vibe and a bottle to go_  
_Them birthday cakes they stole the show_  
_So sexual, she was flexible_  
_Professional, drinkin' X and oh_

She faced Theo with her hands clasped behind her head. The wizened skin of her belly jiggled and strained as she gyrated her hips. She grinned at him and rolled the wheelbarrow away with her foot.

_Hold up, wait a minute, do I see what I think I, whoa_  
_Did I think I see shawty get low?_  
_Ain't the same when it's up that close_

She danced right up next to him and turned around. The next thang Theo knew– 

_Shawty got low-low-low-low-low-low-low-low_

She looked back at Theo over her shoulder and blew him a kiss with pouted lips.

_She turned around and gave that big booty a smack (ayy!!)_

_My jeans full of guap and they ready for shones_  
_Cadillacs, Maybachs for the sexy groan_  
_Patron on the rocks that'll make you moan_

Theo mentally pleaded with Liam and the others to hurry.

_What, you think I'm playin', baby girl?_  
_I'm the man, I'll bend the rubber bands_  
_That's what I told her, her legs on my shoulder_

“I can’t do this part,” Granny Smith shouted over the music, “or I might need a hip replacement.”

“Oh darn,” Theo yelled back with exaggerated disappointment.

“Don’t worry, boo, I gotcha.” She winked at him.

_Sorry but I had to fold her_  
_Like a pornography poster, she showed her—_

Theo gasped as she threw her head back, curled her fingers into the top of her scoop-neck shirt, and pulled it down low enough to expose her chest. Granny Smith had just officially joined the Free The Nipple movement.

_Shawty had them Apple Bottom jeans_  
_Boots with the fur (with the fur)_  
_The whole club was lookin' at her_

Theo held his breath as she turned around and twerked. She seemed to be getting more limber the longer she performed, and this time she didn’t fall over. 

_The way she bent that back_  
_Got her them paper stacks_

Theo cringed as he remembered where the lyrics were going next...

_Tattoo above her crack_

“Ohh, I can’t unsee that!” Theo turned his head away but not before getting an eyeful of her red apple tramp stamp.

_She hit the flo' (she hit the flo'!), next thang you know_  
_Shawty got low-low-low-low-low-low-low-low_

The music stopped and Theo didn’t know rather to be relieved because it was over, or terrified _because it was over._

“What did you think, deary?” Granny Smith asked, wiping the sweat off her brow with the back of her hand.

“I’ve never seen anything like that before,” Theo answered honestly.

“Would you like me to perform another song, or shall I kill you now?”

Theo groaned. It was a tough call.

“Another song please.”

Her face lit up. “Do you like hair metal bands?”

“Uhh–”

“Motley Crew’s Poison Apples is my favorite from that era.”

Theo sighed and forced a smile. “I’d love to hear it.”

She hobbled away again, this time returning to perform in an electric green wig and leopard print leather hot pants. The song had just ended when the backyard’s side gate burst open and Liam charged through it, followed by Corey and Mason. Theo let himself relax for the first time since he had woken up strapped to the picnic table.

“Liam!” 

“Theo!” 

“Corey!” Granny Smith waved pleasantly.

“Miniskirt Granny!” 

“Guys!” 

“Mason!” everyone declared in unison.

“Oh goodness! I’d better run!” Granny Smith took a sputtering breath and shuffled toward the apple orchard at the rear of her property.

Liam watched for a few seconds before strolling over and grabbing her arm. 

Corey and Mason untied Theo, and they used the garden twine to bind Granny Smith to one of the picnic benches. 

“What are we going to do with her?” Corey asked.

“Maybe we could send her to Eichen House,” Liam said. He and Theo were sitting on the other bench, his arm around Theo’s back as Theo slumped against him, still weak from the poison.

Granny Smith huffed indignantly. “I don’t belong in that insane asylum.” 

“You tried to hack out my liver with a garden trowel.” Theo growled and managed to flare his eyes at her. “I think you do.”

“I’ll call Parrish,” Mason said as he pulled his phone out of his pocket.

“No!” Granny Smith flipped her electric green wig over her shoulder and pouted her bottom lip. “I don’t want to leave. This is my home.”

Mason opened his mouth, but Corey held up his hand.

“Granny Smith, I know this is a scary change.” Corey gave her a gentle smile and patted her shoulder. “But don’t think of it as being forced to leave your home. You’re getting older, and this big house is a lot for you to take care of all by yourself. Think of this transition as the nice people at Eichen House helping you live your best life. They’ll handle all your meals and laundry, and you won’t have to go grocery shopping or worry about paying your bills.”

“That does sound nice,” Granny Smith admitted quietly. “It has been quite a burden managing this estate without Elisabeth.”

“I can only imagine,” Corey answered. He gave her a playful smirk and leaned closer. “You know, I hear there’s some foxy older ladies at Eichen House.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, they have several kitsune.” 

“What types?”

“Uhh...” Corey shrugged. “You’ll have to find out for yourself, but that’ll be half the fun! And I’m sure you’ll hit it off.”

“I’ll need to hire a caretaker to come by and look after my apple orchard,” Granny Smith said with a thoughtful nod, the toe of her leather boot tapping the ground, “but perhaps this is a practical solution as I enter my declining decades. Do you think they’ll let me bring my Dready?”

“Her apple seedling,” Theo said when the others gave her blank looks.

“I bet Dready will really brighten up your room,” Mason answered.

She nodded. “Very well dear, you can call your hellhound friend to take me there.”

Granny Smith had already dug up the Dread Apple in anticipation of rubbing Theo’s liver on its roots, so Liam helped her pot it while they waited for Parrish. He arrived just as they were finishing and loaded the old woman and her tree into his squad car. 

The others piled into Mason’s car with Corey up front in the passenger seat beside his boyfriend and Liam and Theo in the back.

“I can do it,” Theo said with a grumble as Liam leaned over to help him with his seatbelt. 

“You can barely hold your hands up.” Liam swatted his fingers and pulled the seatbelt away like Theo hadn’t been holding it at all. 

“I could have gotten it,” Theo mumbled as Liam clicked it into place and adjusted the strap over Theo’s shoulder so it wouldn’t dig into his neck.

“You’re a dumbass,” Liam said as Mason turned the car around and they drove out of the clearing. “I can’t believe you willingly went home with that nutty old woman. What were you thinking?”

“She promised me pie.” _And a bed for the night._

Liam huffed.

“I get it,” Corey said, turning in his seat and offering Theo a small smile. “I almost ate her candy apple at Sinema the other night, but Mason wouldn’t let me.”

“Damn right I wouldn’t let you.” Mason squeezed Corey’s thigh and slowed the car as he leaned over to peck his cheek.

“I’m not letting you eat anymore food from strangers either,” Liam said, bumping the toe of his shoe against Theo’s calf.

Theo started to protest, but there was a warm sparkle in Liam’s eye that stopped him.

“Can you drop me off at the supermarket? That’s where I left my truck.”

Mason gave Liam a questioning look over his shoulder.

“Oh no, you’re not driving tonight.” Liam nudged Theo’s leg again and caught his eye. “We’ll take you home and give you a ride to your truck in the morning. Where do you live anyway?”

“Yeah, I’ll enter the address in Mason’s GPS.” Corey tapped the display built into the center dashboard and brought up the screen to enter an address. “What is it?”

“Uhm...” 

Liam and Corey looked at him expectantly, and Mason glanced at him in the rear view mirror.

Theo swallowed his pride and asked the question he had wanted to ask at the beginning of the night. It was now the only way to protect his secret. “Can I just stay at your house tonight? Then you can drop me off at my truck tomorrow?”

Liam smiled and looked relieved. “Yeah, that’s a good idea. I wasn’t sure you’d go for it, but I don’t think you should be alone tonight in case something happens with the poison.”

“Okay,” Theo answered with a nod. He couldn’t believe it was this easy.

“Do you wanna swing by your place first to get a change of clothes?”

_Dammit._

“No.” 

“It’s no trouble,” Mason said with another glance at Theo in the mirror.

“It’s fine.”

“But where do you live?” Corey asked.

“Yeah, I’ve been wondering that too,” Liam said. “My parents are cool, but it must be fun having your own place. We should hang out there sometime.”

“Sure, it’s, uh, _nice_ being on my own.”

Mason sped up as they got to a straight stretch of forest road. “How about if tomorrow after lunch we–”

“Ugh! Just drop it.” Theo ran his hands down his thighs and clenched his knees. 

Liam’s eyebrows drew together. “But why–”

“I don’t have a home, or an apartment, or anything – okay?” Theo frowned at his lap. “I live in my truck.”

His revelation was met with silence, and he couldn’t resist looking over at Liam to gauge his reaction. Liam blinked at him, a combination of confusion, anger, and sympathy on his face.

“So, um, _no,_ you can’t come over,” Theo said quietly. _Fuck._ He regretted admitting the truth, but he was tired, and it felt like they were going to hound him until they found out either way.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“What?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Liam repeated, his arms folded and his jaw clenched.

Theo glared back at him. “It’s none of your damn business.”

Liam’s heart rate accelerated, and a vein pulsed in his neck.

“You can just drop me off at my truck,” Theo said to Mason.

“No.” Liam gave Theo a furious look. “You’re staying at my house.”

Everyone was silent as they finished the trip to the Geyer home. Apparently Corey and Mason were still going to spend the rest of the night in the guest room. That left the couch for Theo.

“Night,” Mason said softly once they were inside.

“Yeah, good night.” Corey gave a little smile and nod at Theo and Liam as he followed Mason into the guest room.

Theo toed off his shoes and laid his jacket over the arm of the same chair where he had draped it earlier in the evening – back when he and Liam had been trying to be friends. That hadn’t worked. Of course it hadn’t worked. Theo plopped onto the couch. At least he would have one night not scrunched up in the seat of his cold truck.

“Get up.”

Or not.

“You want me to leave?” Theo kept his face stony, pretending it didn’t hurt. It wouldn’t have before his time in hell, before Liam had brought him back. Stupid feelings.

“You’re sleeping in my room.” Liam’s voice shook, whether from anger or something else Theo wasn’t sure. Liam’s scent was a confusing snarl of emotions.

“I’d be more comfortable on your couch than the floor.”

“In my bed, asshole.”

Theo furrowed his brow. “Why?”

“I don’t want my parents to find you dead on the couch in the morning if something happens with the poison.”

Theo smirked at him. “You’d rather find me dead yourself in your bed?”

Liam huffed and grabbed Theo’s forearm. “I’ll wake up if something happens, and I know CPR.”

Theo doubted Liam would wake up if something happened, but it didn’t matter because– 

“I’m doing better. Nothing’s going to happen.”

Liam yanked him to his feet. “Just come on.”

When they got to Liam’s room, he opened his dresser and threw a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt at Theo before scowling at him and storming into the bathroom to brush his teeth. 

Theo changed and sat on the edge of Liam’s bed. It should have been exciting spending the night with Liam, spending the night in a bed at all, but Liam being angry at him was completely ruining it. Having normal feelings sucked. 

He wordlessly accepted the spare toothbrush Liam thrust at him when he came out of the bathroom. 

“Do you need help?” Liam asked quietly as Theo trudged away.

Theo paused in the doorway and looked back. “What?”

“Brushing – it’s a lot of holding your arm up, and you still have muscle weakness.” Liam shrugged one shoulder and caught Theo’s eyes. “Do you need help?”

“I got it.” Theo thought he should be angry, but he felt something else instead. He spent most of the time brushing his teeth trying to figure out what it was. 

_Touched._ Liam’s offer was _touching._ Theo swished mouthwash and spit it into the sink. Why was Liam still being nice to him if he was so pissed he could hardly speak to him?

Liam was on his side staring at the wall when Theo came out. Yeah, this wasn’t going to be awkward at all.

Theo turned off the light and climbed into bed facing the opposite direction. He expected to fall asleep immediately – he was exhausted – but he could _feel_ Liam fuming at him.

“Look I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, okay?” Theo rolled onto his back and stared at Liam’s head. “I was embarrassed, and I didn’t want you to pity me.”

Liam sighed and rolled over too, bringing their shoulders and upper arms into contact. “Helping a friend isn’t pity. It’s what you do.”

“Well, I wouldn’t know.” Theo swallowed. “You’re my first friend, so I guess I’m still learning how to do it.”

Liam rolled over further, onto his other side so that he was looking directly at Theo. “I...I forgot that. I’m sorry too.”

Theo nodded. “Okay, so” –he took a moment to process his emotions– “I feel better, and you don’t seem angry anymore. Did we make up?”

Liam laughed. “Yeah, Theo, we made up.”

“Cool.” Theo moved to roll over again, but Liam stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. 

“I had feelings for Brett.”

Theo’s stomach dropped. He didn’t need a moment to figure out that the cold burn crashing over him was jealousy and hurt.

“But I never told him,” Liam continued, raising his eyes to meet Theo’s. “Then he died because of me.”

“What?” Theo shook his head and squeezed Liam’s arm. “No, he didn’t. Monroe and Gerard killed him. You tried to save him.”

Liam closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath. “I asked him to come to school to help me train the lacrosse freshmen.”

“Yeah.”

Liam re-opened his eyes, revealing clouds of tortured emotion. “But that was just an excuse. I was going to ask him out, but then I lost my temper, and we started arguing like we was always did, and...”

Theo struggled to come up with something to say. It hurt hearing Liam talk about his feelings for Brett, but it hurt more hearing how upset he was.

“He never would have been there if it hadn’t been for me. _Or_ if I had kept my cool and asked him out. Monroe never would have met him, and he’d still be alive.”

“You can’t blame yourself for that.” Theo rolled onto his side facing Liam. He nudged Liam’s leg with his knee. “Monroe is a psycho and a fanatic. She probably would have followed him home or something.”

“I thought I...” Liam licked his lips and inched closer. “I thought I had made the same mistake again tonight.”

“I don’t understand.”

Liam let out a nervous laugh and smiled. “I like you, Theo.”

“Oh.” Theo nodded and trailed his hand down Liam’s arm. “I thought so.”

“Uh–”

“I like you too.” Theo traced patterns on Liam’s wrist with his thumb. “I have no fucking clue how to be someone’s boyfriend, but...”

Theo leaned in and closed his mouth over Liam’s. He must have still been feeling the effects of the cyanide because within seconds he was breathless and tingling all over.

“Don’t go getting yourself killed, okay?” Liam whispered as they broke apart.

“You got it.” Theo brushed his lips over Liam’s again. Liam had really sexy lips. Theo caught his top one between his own and flicked it with his tongue.

“Thank you for stalling tonight until we could get there.”

Theo laughed. “Thank you for answering my text.”

“You mean your call.” Liam slid his arm under Theo’s and stroked a soothing hand down his back.

“Well that too, but also the text.” Theo grazed his thumb over Liam’s cheekbone. He could feel himself caring. It was awesome. Feelings were great.

“I didn’t get a text.”

Theo tilted his head in confusion. “With my GPS location and a couple messages telling you to hurry.”

“Mason and Corey got that, but I didn’t. I thought you didn’t send it to me because we talked on the phone and I didn’t believe you at first.”

“No, I sent it to you too.” Theo let go of Liam and turned over to grab his phone off the nightstand where he’d left it.

“I didn’t get it.” Liam curled around Theo’s back.

Theo opened his text messages and groaned. “Dammit, I texted Llama!”

“I don’t even wanna ask.” Liam laughed and rubbed Theo’s chest. “Let’s go to sleep.”

“Okay.” Theo put his phone back on the nightstand and settled into Liam’s embrace.

“You’re moving in by the way. I know I can convince my parents, and I’m not letting you spend another night in your truck.”

Theo slotted his fingers with Liam’s on his chest and sighed contentedly as he closed his eyes. “I think I can live with that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is greatly appreciated! Please let me know what you thought.
> 
> The chapter title comes from a quote by Dorothy Parker. The full quote is, “The sweeter the apple, the blacker the core. Scratch a lover and find a foe!” In this case the lover and foe were two separate people – Theo and Liam – and they were merciful to Granny Smith, but I still liked that quote for this installment.


End file.
